"I want to live like I know I'm dying"
I have been pondering an interesting phrase. Its the one above funnily enough. "I want to live like I know I'm dying.... " Its from a song that's just been released by an old favourite of mine, Thousand Foot Krutch. It has me thinking, what exactly does this mean? What does that look like? Because, I know, that without even going into the depths behind its meaning, I already love it. So here we go, picture it:
It would change everything. Period. No exceptions. If you were dying, if you had a time limit on your life, every single thing would change for you. Your actions, your views, your hopes and dreams would have a different light on them. How you make your decisions, the thoughts in your head, everything. Your life would become more purposeful...
That's without God in the picture. Put Him into that picture. God telling you that your dying. God showing that your past actions mean nothing compared to what they need to mean. God showing your how your thoughts need to be from this point. God giving you a purpose to pursue....
Think the movie 7 Pounds (the film with Will Smith who trys to redeem a poor choice in life by sacrificing his life for 7 others), except, instead of searching for redemption, you take is greater, its to ensure other people have the chance to be redeemed. The ultimate selfless act you, as a human being could do, not to simply save a life, but to help save their soul....
It would be the final thing you did. The grand closing scene on the stage that is life. You are the lead character. You know the lines. The lights are on you now, you know the curtain is going to close soon. Do you move? Do you take action?
The moment I accepted God as my father, Christ as my saviour, the Holy spirit as a weird fellow that does some funky stuff. The moment I began to serve them, my life became God's. I joined in relationship with Him, the end result being that one day, I would be with Him forever. Until that day comes, I will be used by Him. Whatever the cost is, it is already paid in full.
I want to live like I'm dying. Because really, lets face it, we are dying. Our time here is short, our lives a blink of an eye. Our job is to help others have this, this freedom from death. What happens to us, is nothing. It is nothing, knowing our lives will be spent, knowing that God will not just spend our lives but spend them well.
To finish off with a quote:
"Change starts with us, if you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything."
So stand with me, turn our mindsets around, and start this war of change.
LJA
Wednesday, 30 May 2012
Grabbing the bull by the horns
We are not ment to fight
temptation.
To fight temptation is like fighting
a bull....
Hands on.
When you have a rifle slung over
your shoulder....
Kill temptation before it can
do damage.
Kill it when you see it....
Kill it, because you were ment to fight
much bigger things.
LJA
Saturday, 26 May 2012
The Price Tag
One month down the track, I have finally done a new post.... Feels kinda weird....
Ok so here is the update:
I am on the other side of the world. I am about 1000 miles away from the ocean, living 1 mile above sea level. The state I'm in is dry. Think of needing to actually needing to drink 3 liters of water everyday if you dont want to wake up with a tongue like a microfiber towel of death. I am in Colorado....
To be honest aside from the heat and lack of fresh water that i am allowed to swim in, I love this place. It is the same land area of NZ (give or take a few square Km), 1 million more people and wayyyyy cheaper to live.
I left a place that was green. Humid on the hot days and freezing/damp on the cold ones. A place where I had family, friends, a amazing job and a military I loved. I had my childhood memories and my teenage memories in the same town, I had gone through the ups and the downs, I had forsaken God and He had pulled me back in this place called Home. I left the little brothers and sisters I had seen grow up, I left my parents just as our relationship had started to change for the best (thanks to God). I left my friend whom I have had for over 15 years, my brother in Christ and in flesh, the man who had been by my side through all of the above, the man I confide in and who confides in me... Scott. Do I miss all I have mentioned? Sure. Do I feel it in my heart as a loss or as pain or as a longing to return?...
No.
Odd really isn't it?
I came over here because God showed me a flower. He showed me a butterfly. He showed me a lioness. He showed me the woman who has taken my breathe away and made my heart leap with joy and wonder. It was like sitting on the top of one mountain and looking across to another with a telescope: I had caught a glimpse of this lone flower in the distance and God said "Go". I went through a journey in heart which turned my life upside down. I went from a man fed his insecurities with feeding off others emotions and isolating my own, to a man who is searching, who has longing for God on an insatiable level. A man where finally after causing so much pain and hurt, after bottling all my emotions, to a man who is learning what it is to be a man of God. A man who now has a relationship with God....
The cost of pursuing this flower, the cost of following what God has told me to do, some have said is great. The people over here who hear about my story think I'm crazy, the one who knew about me before I arrived thought I would never return to this butterfly (I love proving people wrong by the way). Why would this guy with such a questionable past and a fully set up life on the other side of the world come back for this lioness. No one thought I would return for McKenzie.
She herself couldn't believe what I had "given up" to come here. It took me a little while to think of what to say to her when she said that. This is what I said (paraphrase here, I'm better in the moment):
"People are always looking for specials and price cuts, they are looking around so they don't have to pay full price for what they want. They shop around on the internet first, then only if they have to, do they go and do it in person. If your willing to pay the full price for something in the store straight away, what your buying is worth more to you, has a value far greater, than the price"
To me, the "sacrifice" of coming here, is nothing. Why? Because God took me to the store, showed me what my heart truly desired and said buy it. What I got for the price tag is something I couldn't have comprehended. Something that is growing in value and worth to my soul everyday. Every moment I spend with McKenzie is a blessing I can't describe. To be able to have a relationship between Myself, God and McKenzie is incredible.
I have finally found out the cost of following God. I have learnt out the formula of it all with Him. It is pretty simple....
He is the God who asks all
And
He is the God who gives all.
It was 7 months of payment and painful learning for me before I held McKenzie in my arms once more. I was prepared to wait years, because I knew God would deliver. In those 7 months, I knew that if God showed us that we were to stop our relationship, I would have without hesitation or loss. Because what ever you invest in and give to God, He will use for something far greater than you can imagine.
If you know God is wanting you to do something, and it is gonna cost you, do it. Because you will find out the price tag meant nothing compared to the true value of what He will give to you in return...
LJA
Ok so here is the update:
I am on the other side of the world. I am about 1000 miles away from the ocean, living 1 mile above sea level. The state I'm in is dry. Think of needing to actually needing to drink 3 liters of water everyday if you dont want to wake up with a tongue like a microfiber towel of death. I am in Colorado....
To be honest aside from the heat and lack of fresh water that i am allowed to swim in, I love this place. It is the same land area of NZ (give or take a few square Km), 1 million more people and wayyyyy cheaper to live.
I left a place that was green. Humid on the hot days and freezing/damp on the cold ones. A place where I had family, friends, a amazing job and a military I loved. I had my childhood memories and my teenage memories in the same town, I had gone through the ups and the downs, I had forsaken God and He had pulled me back in this place called Home. I left the little brothers and sisters I had seen grow up, I left my parents just as our relationship had started to change for the best (thanks to God). I left my friend whom I have had for over 15 years, my brother in Christ and in flesh, the man who had been by my side through all of the above, the man I confide in and who confides in me... Scott. Do I miss all I have mentioned? Sure. Do I feel it in my heart as a loss or as pain or as a longing to return?...
No.
Odd really isn't it?
I came over here because God showed me a flower. He showed me a butterfly. He showed me a lioness. He showed me the woman who has taken my breathe away and made my heart leap with joy and wonder. It was like sitting on the top of one mountain and looking across to another with a telescope: I had caught a glimpse of this lone flower in the distance and God said "Go". I went through a journey in heart which turned my life upside down. I went from a man fed his insecurities with feeding off others emotions and isolating my own, to a man who is searching, who has longing for God on an insatiable level. A man where finally after causing so much pain and hurt, after bottling all my emotions, to a man who is learning what it is to be a man of God. A man who now has a relationship with God....
The cost of pursuing this flower, the cost of following what God has told me to do, some have said is great. The people over here who hear about my story think I'm crazy, the one who knew about me before I arrived thought I would never return to this butterfly (I love proving people wrong by the way). Why would this guy with such a questionable past and a fully set up life on the other side of the world come back for this lioness. No one thought I would return for McKenzie.
She herself couldn't believe what I had "given up" to come here. It took me a little while to think of what to say to her when she said that. This is what I said (paraphrase here, I'm better in the moment):
"People are always looking for specials and price cuts, they are looking around so they don't have to pay full price for what they want. They shop around on the internet first, then only if they have to, do they go and do it in person. If your willing to pay the full price for something in the store straight away, what your buying is worth more to you, has a value far greater, than the price"
To me, the "sacrifice" of coming here, is nothing. Why? Because God took me to the store, showed me what my heart truly desired and said buy it. What I got for the price tag is something I couldn't have comprehended. Something that is growing in value and worth to my soul everyday. Every moment I spend with McKenzie is a blessing I can't describe. To be able to have a relationship between Myself, God and McKenzie is incredible.
I have finally found out the cost of following God. I have learnt out the formula of it all with Him. It is pretty simple....
He is the God who asks all
And
He is the God who gives all.
It was 7 months of payment and painful learning for me before I held McKenzie in my arms once more. I was prepared to wait years, because I knew God would deliver. In those 7 months, I knew that if God showed us that we were to stop our relationship, I would have without hesitation or loss. Because what ever you invest in and give to God, He will use for something far greater than you can imagine.
If you know God is wanting you to do something, and it is gonna cost you, do it. Because you will find out the price tag meant nothing compared to the true value of what He will give to you in return...
LJA
Saturday, 7 January 2012
"Thinking about forever..."
Psalms 38:15-22
15 LORD, I wait for you;
you will answer, Lord my God.
16 For I said, “Do not let them gloat
or exalt themselves over me when my feet slip.”
17 For I am about to fall,
and my pain is ever with me.
18 I confess my iniquity;
I am troubled by my sin.
19 Many have become my enemies without cause[b];
those who hate me without reason are numerous.
20 Those who repay my good with evil
lodge accusations against me,
though I seek only to do what is good.
21 LORD, do not forsake me;
do not be far from me, my God.
22 Come quickly to help me,
my Lord and my Savior. "
I want you to read what David wrote. Hear his cry, his pain, his knowledge of failure, of his sin, of the discipline that God has brought to him....
As the theme of the verses I have quoted suggests, this evening I have been in a place of realisation regarding my sin. Regarding my battle. And it is painful. It is sobering to look upon myself in such light. Imagine a soldier in the midst of battle, missing his breastplate, or his helmet. Having grown confident in my "walk" I let the enemy deceive me into letting my guard down, into forgetting to wear a piece or two of armour. Here is the interesting thing to, the armour covered an old wound....
Its easier to hurt someone when you know how to. Where you know they are weak. It is harder to attack head on when you can flank them and make them collapse from within. This is what our enemy does and he does it so well. Which leads me to ask how so. If we have an old wound, a weakness, wouldn't make sense to cover it up with armour as to make sure it doesn't happen/get hit again? Why do we so often leave it bare?
I believe, with or without knowing it, we want to see the old wound. For all the wrong reasons. It could be that we don't want to forget what someone has down to us, or what we have down to someone else. It could be a grudge we hold onto. It could be lust or hate or jealousy. We could like the feeling of it, being reminded of it and feel the emotions that came with it. Sometimes we believe that it is healed and the scar makes us stronger in that area. Why I ask now? Because sin is so inviting and self justifying. Our enemy is deceitful. It makes us feel like we deserve to be recognised for what we have gone through. It makes us feel better than others, or even smaller than others. It makes us feel validated. Yet we hate it when it gets hit in "battle" (for future note, battle means everyday, every moment of your life). In all of these circumstances I have mentioined above (esp when the "wound" gets hit), we forget about God. . .
Like Peter when he took his eyes off Jesus, like a gladiator when he loses concentration for a split second, we sink, we get struck down, when we forget about God. To several of my friends I have shared a picture, a concept in my head regarding living everyday with God:
Imagine a soldier, in suit of armour, upon the medieval battlefield. The battle as lasted from dawn and its nearly dusk. Death is all around him. His armour is covered in sweat, blood and earth. Yet he fights like he has lost no strength. He stands tall, wounds unaffecting is motion, his swing or block. He is focused, eyes closed this whole time, listening to the soft sound of God, the gentle piano music that every mans soul longs to hear. He is at peace in this place. For it is God who is swinging and blocking, guiding his steps and his ducks.
Now should he open his eyes, he could lose all focus. Should he see the path of victory behind him, he could become confident in himself. These are things that the enemy waits for, and he will strike....
Stop imagining. This is me and you everyday. Our lives are battles. Battles regarding forever, our souls and others. So often once we open our eyes or stop hearing God's gentle whispers, His soft music amidst the chaos, we forget how to find it again. We become overwhelmed. So how do we find His sound again? How do we turn back to Him in the midst of our struggle? How do we get the relationship, the love we once had, back?
One: Look at the sword in your hand. The sword that was given to you. The Bible. Pick it up, open it and read with intent. Ask God to speak through it to you, study it. For a sword isn't that handy if you don't know how to use it properly.
Two: Call out to God and put your hope in Him. David is crying out to God. He continues in Psalm 39 to say amidst all of what is going on for the poor guy that he still hopes in God (Psalm 39:7) In Davids pain, he looks to God to save him. (in Psalm 40, God delivers him)
Three: Fellowship in the body (church, youth group or even a couple of other friends of the faith yo). Remember your not the only one in this battle called life. Find someone who is walking with God and focusing on Him. Someone you trust. Someone with insight into matters about the reopened wound/scar/bit of cake you cant resist.
Four: Worship. Worship is you, personally, giving God your love, giving God the Honor and the glory. It is a intimate thing, its not a show. It can take many forms:painting, singing, poetry or sitting there in silent awe of Him.
Five: Repeat 1, 2, 3 and 4. Everyday.
Because, if you start living for God, listening to Him, trusting His steps and feeling His love, Forever, my friend, starts now.
15 LORD, I wait for you;
you will answer, Lord my God.
16 For I said, “Do not let them gloat
or exalt themselves over me when my feet slip.”
17 For I am about to fall,
and my pain is ever with me.
18 I confess my iniquity;
I am troubled by my sin.
19 Many have become my enemies without cause[b];
those who hate me without reason are numerous.
20 Those who repay my good with evil
lodge accusations against me,
though I seek only to do what is good.
21 LORD, do not forsake me;
do not be far from me, my God.
22 Come quickly to help me,
my Lord and my Savior. "
I want you to read what David wrote. Hear his cry, his pain, his knowledge of failure, of his sin, of the discipline that God has brought to him....
As the theme of the verses I have quoted suggests, this evening I have been in a place of realisation regarding my sin. Regarding my battle. And it is painful. It is sobering to look upon myself in such light. Imagine a soldier in the midst of battle, missing his breastplate, or his helmet. Having grown confident in my "walk" I let the enemy deceive me into letting my guard down, into forgetting to wear a piece or two of armour. Here is the interesting thing to, the armour covered an old wound....
Its easier to hurt someone when you know how to. Where you know they are weak. It is harder to attack head on when you can flank them and make them collapse from within. This is what our enemy does and he does it so well. Which leads me to ask how so. If we have an old wound, a weakness, wouldn't make sense to cover it up with armour as to make sure it doesn't happen/get hit again? Why do we so often leave it bare?
I believe, with or without knowing it, we want to see the old wound. For all the wrong reasons. It could be that we don't want to forget what someone has down to us, or what we have down to someone else. It could be a grudge we hold onto. It could be lust or hate or jealousy. We could like the feeling of it, being reminded of it and feel the emotions that came with it. Sometimes we believe that it is healed and the scar makes us stronger in that area. Why I ask now? Because sin is so inviting and self justifying. Our enemy is deceitful. It makes us feel like we deserve to be recognised for what we have gone through. It makes us feel better than others, or even smaller than others. It makes us feel validated. Yet we hate it when it gets hit in "battle" (for future note, battle means everyday, every moment of your life). In all of these circumstances I have mentioined above (esp when the "wound" gets hit), we forget about God. . .
Like Peter when he took his eyes off Jesus, like a gladiator when he loses concentration for a split second, we sink, we get struck down, when we forget about God. To several of my friends I have shared a picture, a concept in my head regarding living everyday with God:
Imagine a soldier, in suit of armour, upon the medieval battlefield. The battle as lasted from dawn and its nearly dusk. Death is all around him. His armour is covered in sweat, blood and earth. Yet he fights like he has lost no strength. He stands tall, wounds unaffecting is motion, his swing or block. He is focused, eyes closed this whole time, listening to the soft sound of God, the gentle piano music that every mans soul longs to hear. He is at peace in this place. For it is God who is swinging and blocking, guiding his steps and his ducks.
Now should he open his eyes, he could lose all focus. Should he see the path of victory behind him, he could become confident in himself. These are things that the enemy waits for, and he will strike....
Stop imagining. This is me and you everyday. Our lives are battles. Battles regarding forever, our souls and others. So often once we open our eyes or stop hearing God's gentle whispers, His soft music amidst the chaos, we forget how to find it again. We become overwhelmed. So how do we find His sound again? How do we turn back to Him in the midst of our struggle? How do we get the relationship, the love we once had, back?
One: Look at the sword in your hand. The sword that was given to you. The Bible. Pick it up, open it and read with intent. Ask God to speak through it to you, study it. For a sword isn't that handy if you don't know how to use it properly.
Two: Call out to God and put your hope in Him. David is crying out to God. He continues in Psalm 39 to say amidst all of what is going on for the poor guy that he still hopes in God (Psalm 39:7) In Davids pain, he looks to God to save him. (in Psalm 40, God delivers him)
Three: Fellowship in the body (church, youth group or even a couple of other friends of the faith yo). Remember your not the only one in this battle called life. Find someone who is walking with God and focusing on Him. Someone you trust. Someone with insight into matters about the reopened wound/scar/bit of cake you cant resist.
Four: Worship. Worship is you, personally, giving God your love, giving God the Honor and the glory. It is a intimate thing, its not a show. It can take many forms:painting, singing, poetry or sitting there in silent awe of Him.
Five: Repeat 1, 2, 3 and 4. Everyday.
Because, if you start living for God, listening to Him, trusting His steps and feeling His love, Forever, my friend, starts now.
Monday, 2 January 2012
Climb
Christianity is like a mountain. A really steep mountain. A few years ago, myself and several mates decided to climb a really step mountain. Me and my brother Scott walked ahead of the others, chatting about life etc. When we got to the base of the mountain however, we were blown away by it sheer size and angle. The mountain seemed to penetrate the heavens. Cloud covered the summit. It looked uninviting and unforgiving. We all pressed on. As we started it was incredibly hard, for every two steps we took we slid a step back. eventually we figured out how to climb up without burning ourselves out. The accent became enjoyable, fun, energizing. Pretty soon we were at the summit. After some food and water we began to make our way down. We went down FAST. Every step, we would slide 3-4 meters. Admittedly it was fun, but it was dangerous. We fell over and rolled. We got hurt. My feet hurt, my hip was bleeding. We got to the bottom and began the walk home. One of my fondest memories
Looking at that brief account of that day what do you see in it?
This is what I see. Christianity is like that mountain. Christianity is hard, it requires you to put effort and sacrifice into it. But if you press on, continue in your walk, focus on the "summit" (Jesus, God), the route becomes easier. You can walk it with joy in your heart. Then there is the down side, literally. With every step accent is the steep descent. The higher up you are the faster and harder you fall. You tumble and you go in the opposite direction from God. Its a dangerous path to take.
Why do we tumble and fall down the mountain? Sometimes it is because we look back, we see the view and we lose balance. Sometimes we slip up and slide a little bit. Sometimes we get hurt on the way up, maybe from someone else falling, maybe because we don't like how other people climb or because of the "brand" (Church) of boots they wear. When we get hurt on the way up, we can decide that no, I'm sick of climbing and we CHOOSE to turn away from our ultimate goal of reaching the summit and we go for what looks like the easier, safer way in life.
What we forget as we climb, what we always seem to ignore is that everyone on this mountain called Christianity is in the same boat. Facing the same struggles. We also seem to forget that we have a guy at the top reaching down to us, wanting to help us. Jesus.
I want you today to look and see if you can get a fix on the summit. I want you to look at the goal. I want you to take up the challenge and climb with everything you have in you, with all your passion and desire. For reaching that summit is the most amazing feeling ever. . .
Looking at that brief account of that day what do you see in it?
This is what I see. Christianity is like that mountain. Christianity is hard, it requires you to put effort and sacrifice into it. But if you press on, continue in your walk, focus on the "summit" (Jesus, God), the route becomes easier. You can walk it with joy in your heart. Then there is the down side, literally. With every step accent is the steep descent. The higher up you are the faster and harder you fall. You tumble and you go in the opposite direction from God. Its a dangerous path to take.
Why do we tumble and fall down the mountain? Sometimes it is because we look back, we see the view and we lose balance. Sometimes we slip up and slide a little bit. Sometimes we get hurt on the way up, maybe from someone else falling, maybe because we don't like how other people climb or because of the "brand" (Church) of boots they wear. When we get hurt on the way up, we can decide that no, I'm sick of climbing and we CHOOSE to turn away from our ultimate goal of reaching the summit and we go for what looks like the easier, safer way in life.
What we forget as we climb, what we always seem to ignore is that everyone on this mountain called Christianity is in the same boat. Facing the same struggles. We also seem to forget that we have a guy at the top reaching down to us, wanting to help us. Jesus.
I want you today to look and see if you can get a fix on the summit. I want you to look at the goal. I want you to take up the challenge and climb with everything you have in you, with all your passion and desire. For reaching that summit is the most amazing feeling ever. . .
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