"Thinking about forever..."

Psalms 38:15-22
 ¹⁵ LORD, I wait for you;
you will answer, Lord my God.
¹⁶ For I said, “Do not let them gloat
or exalt themselves over me when my feet slip.”
¹⁷ For I am about to fall,
and my pain is ever with me.
¹⁸ I confess my iniquity;
I am troubled by my sin.
¹⁹ Many have become my enemies without cause^[b];
those who hate me without reason are numerous.
²⁰ Those who repay my good with evil
lodge accusations against me,
though I seek only to do what is good.
²¹ LORD, do not forsake me;
do not be far from me, my God.
²² Come quickly to help me,
my Lord and my Savior. "


 I want you to read what David wrote. Hear his cry, his pain, his knowledge of failure, of his sin, of the discipline that God has brought to him....

As the theme of the verses I have quoted suggests, this evening I have been in a place of realisation regarding my sin. Regarding my battle. And it is painful. It is sobering to look upon myself in such light. Imagine a soldier in the midst of battle, missing his breastplate, or his helmet. Having grown confident in my "walk" I let the enemy deceive me into letting my guard down, into forgetting to wear a piece or two of armour. Here is the interesting thing to, the armour covered an old wound....

Its easier to hurt someone when you know how to. Where you know they are weak. It is harder to attack head on when you can flank them and make them collapse from within. This is what our enemy does and he does it so well. Which leads me to ask how so. If we have an old wound, a weakness, wouldn't make sense to cover it up with armour as to make sure it doesn't happen/get hit again? Why do we so often leave it bare?

I believe, with or without knowing it, we want to see the old wound. For all the wrong reasons. It could be that we don't want to forget what someone has down to us, or what we have down to someone else. It could be a grudge we hold onto. It could be lust or hate or jealousy. We could like the feeling of it, being reminded of it and feel the emotions that came with it. Sometimes we believe that it is healed and the scar makes us stronger in that area. Why I ask now? Because sin is so inviting and self justifying. Our enemy is deceitful. It makes us feel like we deserve to be recognised for what we have gone through. It makes us feel better than others, or even smaller than others. It makes us feel validated. Yet we hate it when it gets hit in "battle" (for future note, battle means everyday, every moment of your life).  In all of these circumstances I have mentioined above (esp when the "wound" gets hit), we forget about God. . .

Like Peter when he took his eyes off Jesus, like a gladiator when he loses concentration for a split second, we sink, we get struck down, when we forget about God. To several of my friends I have shared a picture, a concept in my head regarding living everyday with God:

Imagine a soldier, in suit of armour, upon the medieval battlefield. The battle as lasted from dawn and its nearly dusk. Death is all around him. His armour is covered in sweat, blood and earth. Yet he fights like he has lost no strength. He stands tall, wounds unaffecting is motion, his swing or block. He is focused, eyes closed this whole time, listening to the soft sound of God, the gentle piano music that every mans soul longs to hear. He is at peace in this place. For it is God who is swinging and blocking, guiding his steps and his ducks.

Now should he open his eyes, he could lose all focus. Should he see the path of victory behind him, he could become confident in himself. These are things that the enemy waits for, and he will strike....

Stop imagining. This is me and you everyday. Our lives are battles. Battles regarding forever, our souls and others. So often once we open our eyes or stop hearing God's gentle whispers, His soft music amidst the chaos, we forget how to find it again. We become overwhelmed. So how do we find His sound again? How do we turn back to Him in the midst of our struggle? How do we get the relationship, the love we once had, back?

One: Look at the sword in your hand. The sword that was given to you. The Bible. Pick it up, open it and read with intent. Ask God to speak through it to you, study it. For a sword isn't that handy if you don't know how to use it properly.

Two: Call out to God and put your hope in Him. David is crying out to God. He continues in Psalm 39 to say amidst all of what is going on for the poor guy that he still hopes in God (Psalm 39:7) In Davids pain, he looks to God to save him. (in Psalm 40, God delivers him)

Three: Fellowship in the body (church, youth group or even a couple of other friends of the faith yo). Remember your not the only one in this battle called life. Find someone who is walking with God and focusing on Him. Someone you trust. Someone with insight into matters about the reopened wound/scar/bit of cake you cant resist.

Four: Worship. Worship is you, personally, giving God your love, giving God the Honor and the glory. It is a intimate thing, its not a show. It can take many forms:painting, singing, poetry or sitting there in silent awe of Him.

Five: Repeat 1, 2, 3 and 4. Everyday.

Because, if you start living for God, listening to Him, trusting His steps and feeling His love, Forever, my friend, starts now.